Martine M. Parisien

English 101

Text wrestling: faux frienship

According to several experts, healthy and lasting relations are fed by and have started with friendship. Besides, we are social creatures by nature and, therefore, we have this compelling need to be associated with someone we can care for, share with and rely upon in different moments of our lives. William Deresiewicz has touched upon several historical periods in order to give his own views on friendship along the following paragraphs.

William Deresiewicz examines in the framework of his article “faux friendship” the evolution of friendship by going from Jacob and Esau to contemporary people calling each other friends on my space,  facebook,…, twitter in the wake of a random encounter in most of the cases. He argues that in our current days “friendship can be everything and nothing at the same time”. Mr. Deresiewicz reports what was aired on New Hampshire Public Radio’s Word of Mouth Wednesday, December 16 at 12:40 p.m: “… [a] numberless multitude of people, of whom no one was close, no one was distant. …”. Therefore, it seems that the modern social networks have brought about the fragmentation of friendship even before the latter is brought into fruition.

Far from being up for grabs like nowadays, friendship was rare, significant and earned over time throughout biblical times until the era of industrial development. David’s love for Jonathan surpassed his enmity with the King Saul to an extent that he stated: “my love for him (Jonathan) was more wondrous to me than the love of women”. It was reported that Achilles refused to live without his friend, Patroclus and there is no room for homosexuality here. It is just about friendship, the writer upholds.

According to the author of the article, the decline of the classical ideal of friendship is evidenced by the rise of Christianity. However, Jesus Christ, the Founder of the Christian movement, was mainly surrounded by men- the twelve Disciples- and his friendship with Lazarus was so strong that he wept when he learned his beloved friend had passed away. Besides, he turned out to be so kind to and understanding of a man, a tax collector called Zacchaeus, who was despised by the people of his community.

As upheld by Deresiewicz, today’s friendship is deprived of its classical value. It has evolved from the form of alliance or oath as the basis on which it must be cultivated among the Lords and vassals into the expression of godparents and godchildren through the Roman Catholic Society.

The boom of commerce in our societies has changed the realm of personal life and paved the ground for the emergence of modern friendship, which is based upon something more informal and spontaneous. Faced with moral weaknesses of our days, friendship has evolved into a new kind of idealism to meet the humans’ deepest need and the group friendship or friendship circle which reached its apogee in the 1960s and was later revealed on the TV screen in Seinfeld (Jerry and George), Sex and the City, and, of course, Friends (Ross and Chandler).

In this regard, the virtual effect of proximity creates the illusion of being emotionally attached to that person with whom we communicate. Facebook was the explanatory element the author brought up. A study found that one American in four reported having no close confidants, up from one in 10 in 1985. Moreover, It seems that we are really so hungry for validation and so desperate to prove we have friends nowadays.

In conclusion, Mr. William Deresiewicz argues that friendship becomes, on the basis of all above, a kind of alternative society, a refuge from the values of the larger, fallen world. He added that when all the marriages are over, friends are the people we come back to.

On the other hand, the writer Frédéric Joignot of Le Monde (The World) shows in his article “L’amitié à l’épreuve de Facebook / Facebook-Tested Friendship” a less orthodox view about the use and potential of network in how it molds our relations. As a French man, he is more open-minded about the latter than Mr. William Deresiewicz. He brought to our attention the remarks of A British anthropologist Daniel Miller who, however, appears to agree with the defenders of social networks. According to Daniel Miller and the author of the article, social networks have escaped their creators and now belong to the communities by overtaking them and proving them wrong when they said that the friendly and collective relations would deteriorate due to consumption of high tech and individualism. For instance, he stated that facebook has helped enhance friendly exchanges between young people living in Santa Ana, a remote village of Venezuela plagued by neighborhood tensions. They check their coursework and play online.

Being convinced of his viewpoint, Mr. Joignot upholds his argument through the phone, which is a good example according to him. He coincides with Stéphane Vial and they argue that many people found- at first- the use of telephone rather misleading, disruptive or frivolous, and hated to use it. They added that the fact that it could facilitate the harassment and police tracks did not stop it from changing radically our way of living, working, loving, and so on. Since then, “talking without being seen” has become a” natural “part of our culture. This new practice has enriched the ways we communicate and the same thing will be happening on our entry into the digital world, although many refuse to embrace it.

In conclusion, Frédéric Joignot, the author of the aforementioned article, believes that sentimental and erotic friendships are not the only ones to take other forms through social networks and interactivity. Friendships between supposed enemies, even among peoples of different countries, follow suit. Thus, he cited: “the Israeli, Pushpin Mehina (real name Ronny Edry), created in March 2012 a Facebook page where you can see him along with his daughter, smiling and right above it read as follows: “Iranians, we will never bombard your countries. We love you”. To date, the “Israel loves Iran” page has 116,479″ likes, he added.

In my opinion, I agree that we have given our hearts to machines, and now we are turning into machine. Friendship is so informal and exclusively centered upon self-gratification and recognition at the present time. Consequently, it seems to be difficult nowadays to live out a time-tested friendship due to the superficiality and the virtual illusion of social networking. Or, it is probably the lack of adaptability of many of us that prevents us from getting accustomed to the new forms of friendship and relationships in the face of the ever growing networking technology. However, the saying: “a friend in need is a friend indeed” remains relevant for identifying a real friend.

Works Cited:

Deresiewicz, William.“Faux Friendship. The Chronicle Review of Higher

Education.” December 6, 2009. Web

Joignot, Frédéric. “L’amitié à l’épreuve de Facebook” or « Facebook-Tested

Friendship ». February, 4th, 2014. web

Mathilde Aubier. “Le monde culture et idees” or “World culture and ideas”

AND IDEAS.” January, 2014. web

Personal narrative

An old adage states that man is the product of his environment. As a matter of fact, it seems-based upon what we see every day- that our cultural background molds our thinking and behavior one way or another: The Haitian culture shapes my life in a very positive manner; in the  way to have a strong faith in God,  overcome the obstacles, and discipline my life.

Culture is a set of beliefs, rituals and practices that connect the individual with others, and God with the cosmos. In my culture, the majority of Haitian parents are devout Christians. They always try to talk to their children about what God can do and this at their young age. My lovely father had a strong belief in God and would often times tell me there is a God in heaven that can do everything. Before he passed away, he gave me a bible that contains 66 books and it is divided into two main parts: Old Testament and New Testament. My father told me with abundant stream of tears rolling down his cheeks: I give you this book because you’ll need it your whole life. Since that day, I pray every morning and every night with my Bible. My culture has shaped me this way. As a result, I live my life from a different and a better perspective. As a matter of fact, that book my late father gave me allowed me to know about the love of God, to trust him and to find out about his omnipotence. All of sudden, more precisely, at the age of 17, I was starting to have frequent headaches. My mother took me to several doctors. Despite all, the pain got stronger every day. At last, I was diagnosed with brain tumor in an impoverished country like Haiti. My family did everything that was in their power to take me to see a specialist from the United States, but the efforts were unsuccessful. Engulfed in sadness, I remember the last words my dad said before he died and his gift: the bible. Then, I started to pray to God in my room with the help of my mother, saying God: “I know you can do everything….” After several sessions of prayer, I went back to the doctor and the tumor was gone. My doctor was dumbstruck. It was a clear answer to my fervent prayer sessions. Since that day, I have showed a strong belief in God. 

My culture has always taught me to be strong and courageous. Despite hardships we may come across on the road, we remain hopeful. All my friends were crying, thinking I was going to die, but I clung to the Christians teachings, the principles that my father had implanted in me before he passed away. In this extreme situation in which I found myself, I held onto the way my ancestors fought for independence. During the last battle against the French army, when a cannon ball took Capois Lamort’s hat away, one of the leaders of our ancestors, he cried out: “forward, ever forward. When another cannon ball knocked his horse down, he kept shouting: “forward, forward”. In the face of such feat, the French army stopped the battle and saluted the courage of this great man and his army. It is this same spirit that is injected into the veins of all Haitians and, particularly, in me. This helps me to be optimistic, courageous and not to give up ever. It comes at a moment when people thought I would die and my mother was making plans for my funeral, but that did not worry me. I stayed courageous and hopeful though.

The experience of my illness has taught me discipline. It taught me to be stable spiritually. In my culture, when some people are sick despite their faith in God, they tend to consult the voodoo priest for healing and this barely gives good results. If I had gone to a Voodoo Priest, I strongly believe that I would not be alive now. Some people around me encouraged my mom to take me to the voodoo priest, telling her if she would let her daughter die in stupid way like this. She did not accept because my family had confidence in God. In no time, I neglected to take my medications on time and follow the instructions of my doctor. I continue to follow the health principles and maintain a good relationship with my God. To me, that experience is a lesson of courage, discipline, hope and trust in the Almighty God.

In conclusion, my culture shape me in the positive manner. The faith it help me to have in my God drives me to the healing .The courage that I inherited from my forefathers me allowed to be courageous even most of people taught that I passed away. From my sickness, discipline became a part of my life about everything that I make and the way that I have to serve God.

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